So my main reason for starting this blog was to be kind of an outlet for me. I tend to keep things bottled up so I thought this could serve as a release. If people read it and they relate, or it makes them laugh? Even better. I realize that in my journey to become a better person, I lack motivation, self discipline and will power. I am very emotional even though I try to portray that I am not. So as I got home from work on this Friday evening, I quickly went into my normal Friday night routine. My son goes to his dads on the weekends so as soon as I get home on Fridays, I immediately put on my pajamas and crawl into bed and binge tv with my dog. As I was about to climb into bed, I thought to myself…”What am I doing?”. I am trying to be a new/better me. I have started a blog for people to follow my journey. What kind of hypocrite would I be to sit here and write about how I am trying to change only to just fall right back into my normal habits. I thought of this blog. This is going to help hold me accountable. Could this be the missing puzzle piece to keep me on track? The thought that if even ONE person reads this and gets motivation got me changing out of my pajamas and turning on a workout video in my living room. I did a quick 30 minute high intensity workout and almost died. I saw dripping in sweat and couldn’t breathe but I did it! And I felt soooo much better about myself afterwards. I rewarded myself by getting back into my pajamas and relaxing for the rest of the evening. I realized, I can do both. There is nothing wrong with rest and just being lazy somedays. In my opinion, that is self care. But that became my only form of selfcare for years. Hence the 50 pounds I’ve gained…but now, even if I just do a quick little workout in my living room to get the blood pumping and burn a few calories? That is a new form of self care that I am starting to like. Not LOVE yet, but like. I am extremely out of shape so it is pretty hard for me to do any sort of exercise. I am hoping if I stay consistent, it will become easier, maybe even enjoyable. I cannot wait until I can actually SEE results.
