Bare with me. I am by no means a professional writer/blogger. So here goes….
Is there a certain age that someone needs to be in order to have a midlife crisis? I mean, no one knows at what age they will die so it doesn’t seem like there could ever be a definitive “mid life crisis age”. That being said, I am at my midlife crisis age now I think. And I have been for the past 2 years. Who am I? What is my purpose? Blah, blah, blah. Everyone has these thoughts from time to time but for me? They are constant now and I am attributing it to the fact that I am fat and almost 40. I have always been extremely self conscious about my appearance. I am now at the heaviest I have ever been. I’m talking a good 20+ pounds heavier than when I was 9 months pregnant with my son. Full on fat cow status. I look at myself in the mirror with disgust every day. How did I let myself get this bad? Well, I will dive into my thoughts on that a little later on. Then there is the fact that I am almost 40. I am no spring chicken. My life is flying by and I’ve got nothing to show for it except for an excess 50 pounds, anxiety, a raging bitch of an attitude most the time and an empty bank account. Is this really my life?? Sure I have an amazing son and I have a roof over my head and all of the other things that one shouldn’t take for granted. I am just not happy. With myself. Who I am as a person. This blog will serve as a therapeutic outlet for me and I hope for others who may feel like they relate. I am on a mission to start a new journey of being a better me. Physically and mentally. Financially and maybe even spiritually. Who knows. So please, feel free to tag along as I attempt to recreate myself. I will be sharing my successes and failures. My ups and downs. My highs and lows. A look into my life, raw and unfiltered. I hope this helps someone who may be going through the same things as me. I hope we can recreate ourselves together. Please feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, shit talking, etc. Onward and forward! -Fat girl out